Before my son was born my mother told me, “the act of giving birth continues for mothers far beyond our birthing rooms.” I couldn’t completely understand what she was saying until now having somewhat adjusted to this new landscape of motherhood.
Since Leo was born my days and nights have melded into this rich tapestry of overwhelming emotions, challenges and profound realizations. Never have I had to face my own demons in such a way before. I thought I had traversed my inner world and was beginning to understand how to exist neglecting to admit I had been dancing around so much it turns out.
With his birth has come a psychic death of sorts, a sacred experience I’m convinced to bring me closer to my whole self not the one I had carefully curated. It is revealing the places within that I have cleverly convinced myself not to look and all the ways of being that have crippled me in so many aspects of my life. Only four months in and I’ve been humbled by this new being looking at me for guidance while ironically guiding me to all of the places I had dared not look before.
I am now beginning to understand what they say of children being our greatest teachers, but one is not the same without the other. It is a dance of two souls finding their way in this world. Our children are the access point for all our magnificence. We show them the way while they remind us again of all that may have been sleeping within. Mother not only guides their children to their source of love but finds it for herself again in the process.
His presence and purity have broken open within me the depths of my own being and how indefinable this existence really is. There are no words for what we come from and what is within us, naturally with absolutely no effort. He has reminded me of how far I’ve wandered from the simplest parts of myself and how divinely aligned we are when we look deeply into another’s eyes.
And this is only the very beginning….